Not so Happy Easter

Recently back from vacation. Saw my great-nephew and niece who bring be utter joy. Spent time with girls from work having a few drinks. Life status-quo.

Depression hits like a ton of bricks. Sometimes there are cues it is coming and other times there are not…or the cues are missed. 

Today is one of those days. It is not a good day. I am not ok. I sit and cry all alone. Everyone else is happy stating “he has risen”. Pictures posted of families smiling. Knowing my own family is somewhere celebrating. Me on the couch crying. Alone. No-one is aware of the depths of pain I feel. My husband comes home from work. Ignorant of my sadness. He talks to his family on the phone and I hear laughter from the other room. Avoided and ignored. I must still be upset from the night before, while yes, I am, the deep hurt I have is beyond recent events. My problems are mine alone. No-one understands. There is no-one to reach out to. It is a holiday. Everyone is tired of me. The one person I know who would understand is unable to be reached at this time. He is on a sabbatical in Texas. 

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